Somewhere between leaving school, finding a job, being a partner, and becoming a wife. Somewhere amongst the 'in betweeness' of wifehood and motherhood, you lost Her.
Some days when you look at the woman in the mirror, she seems like someone who you used to know... but where has it all gone – your time, your youth, the ‘youness’ in your life?
The things that used to be so important to you, the things that you knew that you wanted in your life just the other day seem meaningless to you now.
Honestly, you wish that you could just walk away from it all sometimes…
Sometimes you wonder which of these things (or your wanting of them) was your idea, to begin with?
the confusion, the fear,
the sense of loss, abandonment, the grief,
the anger at yourself
the constant tug of war between loneliness and the need to be separate
the restless nights…
Sure, you are a middle-aged woman, and so night sweats are part of life now
but the real thing keeping you tossing and turning at 2 am is, Her.
The secret you, the wilder, freer, fiercer you calling out - demanding to be heard with an urgency that you can feel deep in your bones.
You can feel Her...
If this is you and you are here, then I know that you have tried to ignore Her.
You have tried to silence Her voice, to distract yourself, to numb yourself with alcohol, drugs, medication, sex, social media, binge-watching Netflix, online shopping…
You have tried living your life according to other people’s rule book of what they think that you should do.
And still, she calls like a warning light on the dashboard of your car.
You have been going crazy trying to put the light out – to fix the problem
What you have been doing is not working because you are looking for an external solution to an ‘internal problem’.
You are not a problem that needs fixing
You are not broken
You are not crazy
Many people will tell you what you are going through is a midlife crisis, but you are not...
You are not meant to silence Her – you are meant to become Her.
You are meant to reconnect with, love and learn to trust Her.
You are not meant to put out the warning light – you are meant to nurture the light and allow it to illuminate your way.
A woman who trusts herself and knows what sets her heart alight will transform everything her light touches.
Midlife is not just about getting older, losing your fertility, hot flushes, hormones and menopause.
Midlife is also a deeply spiritual time in your life.
In many ways, it may seem like a series of endings – or deaths. But midlife is also a time of rebirth - a magical new chapter in your life.
The reason why you are feeling this way is that your brain is going through a major restructure (the last time this happened was at puberty) and literally being rewired. Mother nature is giving you an invitation to reconnect with and return to yourself. For you to decide how you would like to live the next half of your life in a way that feels true to who you are.
Throughout nature, we are the only female mammals to undergo this process which is proof of how profoundly miraculous this is!
Throughout your life, you are in a constant life-death-life cycle. Mid-life is a potent time of letting go and rebirth as you transition from your Maiden/Mother years and reawaken your Wild Woman (who is the truest, most authentic version of you)
The women in your ancestral line would have lived in communities where these life-death-life cycles were witnessed and celebrated. As a woman who belonged to a community, you would have had the support of other women from your tribe as you cooked meals together, created handcrafts and sat around the communal hearth sharing rituals and stories.
However, sadly this is no longer the case. In our western culture, we only make space for the Maiden and the Mother. Our wise, wild selves are rejected and ostracised.
Like many women you feel these powerful energies swirling around inside of you but have no one to speak to about how you are feeling, no one to listen.
But you are not alone you just have not found your soul sisters yet.
If this is you then this community for Soul-Led, Midlife Women who are on an awakening journey is for you.
Together, we are on a mission to support each other through the ups and downs of midlife, share what brings us alive and unlearn beliefs and behaviours that no longer serve us so that we can discover what it means to be the Queen of our own lives.